Thought Disorder

Friday, March 20, 2009

I have not blogged for such a long time.

Down with flu but still going for training tomorrow. And a whole lot of make-up classes :( And also to repair my lousy phone again!

I'm pretty productive today I guess, for the current state I'm in: Exhausted, sick and a bit of mental block after having an inert brain for 5 days. Rushed through differential equations from the revision package. I H8 word problems ugh they disgust me. Time taken to solve 1 word problem was approximately an hour but later in the night it became 30 minutes or less? Let's pray that this turns out well.

CO trip was okay, save for the scary hotel. It is indeed true that going as a senior is not as fun as when I was in Sec 3/4. The Xfactor is just gone. Or maybe it's just ennui. I've gotten so bored of taking pictures wherever I go that I 1) did not bring my camera to Msia 2) did not take any pictures using my handphone's camera and 3) did not take many photos using other people's cameras. And during shopping I look for food, buy mostly food and settle at places to chill out and eat/drink nice stuff. It's purely ennui. It was more of a food trip for me. Kept eating meal after meal and buying snacks to munch on. Plus we don't do much exercise and all we do is just go up the bus and sit and sleep. Secret recipe was cheap but I couldn't finish my HUGE slice of cake (first time lah srsly) because I was darn full after eating breakfast. But at least I fulfilled my short-term goal of the trip, that is to eat cake at Secret Recipe ;D Cake was large and good. I am happy.

Anyway on to the scary hotel. I think I'll never forget this trip because of the scary hotel. Out of so many trips I've been on (CO, camps, CCO, BSP, family etc) I'd never once been freaked out by a hotel before. There were many hotels in worse conditions than the one we lived in in Melaka, but none actually managed to spark off a tinge of quaeasiness that would easily escalate into fear in me. It wasn't just me, many (not all) experienced it too. Mostly people living in my block/on the same storey as me&LJH's room. Day in day out while walking along that particular corridor, LJH and I would be so freaked out that we would just cover our eyes and break into a run. In hindsight, the stay in the resort was more of a train ride to hell than an enjoyable stay. It is quite a fortunate thing that we all survived to tell the tale. If we can survive this creepy hotel, we can all survive any hotel.

Freaky.

I shall not elaborate further.

12:36 AM

Monday, March 09, 2009

I'm supposed to be slacking now

Oh no you did not hear me wrong

I wrapped up my last test of the term today, which was chem SPA

It was pretty alright given the trauma I'd already been exposed to for mock SPA just two weeks ago

So I'm really free now but in actual fact I'm not feeling very free right now

I should be tucked away nicely, asleep since I'm feeling so exhausted that I really did feel a tinge of fatigue during SOT just now

Rare occurrence eh

I seriously think I'll not score an A for GP for A Levels because my mind is not well-wired for the running of many complex arguments

Why is the world so complex huh

I'll be quite contented with a B

Eh and the school's giving our batch loads of pressure on the impending A Levels we're gonna face this November

235 days; 36 more days and the hundredth digit will dwindle by one and we'll all start to have panic attacks

I'll just worry about it then

Okay but back to the main point - I'm really worn out today, as usual

But I am not sleeping yet for some (un)known reason I cannot speak of here

I redid my CSC assignment after pondering over my stand for one day

I totally changed my stand and so I've two pieces of work with two different stands but the one that I wrote just now seems more logical to me

At the same time, it is also illogical in some manner so I'm really caught in between this and that

But seriously, whatever

CSC is just not my cup of tea because I like coffee much better

BTW I'm really craving for fried bee hoon mee now even though it's midnight already and my eyes are drooping down heavily

Also BTW I'm so lost for Econs you can say that I'm swimming in the South China Sea partly because I study CSC and mainly because I predict that it'll be more advantageous to swim near China's borders even though military expenses have gone up

I will study my Econs notes tomorrow I swear to myself

Was actually supposed to study Econs over the weekends but hey I did so many tutorials during the weekends Econs was just left behind again

'Again', has been happening for a few weekends

Econs just drives me nuts

I really need sleep now

11:56 PM

Thursday, March 05, 2009

There's Chem lecture test ONE tomorrow. I'm supposed to be mugging hard...

But I'm not. I'm updating my iPod which hasn't been updated since end of last year. I grew really tired of the songs in it recently. (I should name my iPod. Oh and it's almost a year old!) My fattest wish of the day is for a higher power to bless me for the test tomorrow. So many organic equations, reagents, conditions and mechanisms encircling my hazy brain right now. I really am unaware of how I spent my last weekend and my last few days. They just vanished so quickly and silently. There was concert yesterday; this I'm definitely sure of. Probably one of my last concerts as an official member if you don't count the one at KL next Sunday. Didn't feel that it was my best shot at all. But it was indeed relieving to hear from people that our senior high song was pretty decent. Quality, not quantity, matters.

And it's a good thing that holidays are coming soon. In hindsight, I don't think I'm fully submerged in the mugging mode now. There's definitely room for more intensed mugging. Well, I should probably cut down on TV time. I sort of quit videos temporarily because it's just useless and tiring to chase the series week after week. I'll accumulate the unwatched episodes of BOF for March holidays! (Even though I already know that there will be a damn lot of work to complete) It's always TV time before I sleep because Ch55 always has some nice HK serials or Korean dramas. And they usually end at 12.30am. I emerge a battered person the next day. School, and the same old routines... That sense of detachment from reality is really overwhelming.

At least this beats having no goals and catalysts in my plain life.

10:30 PM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.